Funeral Etiquette
If you've been invited to a visitation, funeral, or memorial service and aren't sure what's expected, you're not alone. A little preparation goes a long way toward feeling comfortable — so you can focus on what matters most: showing up for the family.
What to Wear & What to Expect
Dress neatly and modestly — dark or subdued colors are traditional, though many services today are less formal, and some celebrations of life request bright colors. Arrive a few minutes early, silence your phone, sign the register book, and follow the family's lead during the service. At a visitation, a brief word with the family is enough; you don't need to stay long.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Simple and sincere is best: "I'm so sorry," "She meant so much to me," or a short favorite memory. Avoid phrases that explain the loss away, like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place" — they can hurt more than help. If words fail you, a warm handshake or hug says plenty.
Flowers, Gifts & Other Gestures
Flowers sent to the funeral home or the family's residence remain a treasured tradition, and memorial donations to a named charity are equally meaningful when the family requests them. A sympathy card, a delivered meal, or a phone call in the weeks after the service — when the casseroles stop coming — can mean the most of all.
